


Miss Parker

by Naomida



Series: The Amazing(ly shitty) Spiderman [1]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Fantastic Four, The Amazing Spider-Man (Movies - Webb)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Twins, Gen, M/M, everyone wants to get in Spidey pants, post The Amazing Spider-man 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-01
Updated: 2015-05-01
Packaged: 2018-03-26 16:32:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3857428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naomida/pseuds/Naomida
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Hilly decided to put on the Spiderman costume, she did it for her grieving twin Peter who was way too brokenhearted to save New York City's inhabitants. She truly didn't expect things to be so freaking hard – and why the fuck was everyone trying to flirt with Spiderman anyway ?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Miss Parker

Hilly was having a really shitty day.

In fact, she was having a really shitty year so she was kind of getting used to it now but that night was still a whole new low. She was breaking into the Baxter Building – or at least trying to because really, she wasn't going very far at the moment – and seriously considered calling it a night and going back to bed when the window she was trying to open didn't and actually got even more locked, or whatever the click sound she heard was supposed to mean.

It was getting frustrating, she was cold and didn't even know why she even bothered. Chances were that she wouldn't find what she was looking for inside that damned building but Peter hadn't wanted to help her and she was too desperate not to try.

“Come on, fucking open already!” she hissed at the pane and strangely enough, it did, just as she was putting all her weight on it.

She fell face first on wooden floor and was greeted by someone shouting at her.

“Don't move you stupid thief!”

Groaning, she looked up at the baseball bat on fire held by a very familiar face she had seen at least a hundred times on tv.

Of course the Human Torch would catch her. Typically her luck.

“Don't insult me” she replied, “and put that thing down before you burn everything.”

“I'm the Human Torch and you worry about me burning stuff? _Really_? What kind of dumbass are you exactly?” he asked, raising a stupid eyebrow.

“The kind who breaks into the Baxter Building.”

“Yeah right.” he paused to scoff then spoke again : “I'm the one who let you inside because your attempts were getting too pathetic to bear but okay, think whatever helps you sleep at night. Or during the day, since apparently at night you like to fail being a thief.”

“Shut the hell up, I'm not a thief.”

“Then what the fuck are you supposed to be?”

“I'm Spiderman” she replied, indicating her mask and trying to use her most 'I'm-better-than-you-lil-shit' voice but that apparently didn't work since the man in front of her just laughed at her like she had just said the world's best joke ever.

“Right. I met Spiderman once or twice and trust me he's not as lame as you'd think he'd be... and as you. Plus he's apparently retired. Your cosplay is good but I'm not that stupid.”

“Fuck you very much.”

She tried to get up – because laying face-first on cold hard wooden floor wasn't comfortable – but the baseball bat was swung right above her head, forcing her to stay put.

“Don't move!”

“Seriously dude, a bat? Aren't you supposed to be a superhero?”

“Shut up, it's the middle of the night. Why are you even here?”

“I need something.”

“Oh really? And since our home is a self-serve buffet, you thought it'd be nice to come by?”

Under any other circumstances, Hilly would have probably found him funny but that night was way too shitty for her to even think of laughing.

“Look, I'm just looking for something I really need in order to superhero, so let me just take a quick look and then I'll be gone, I swear.”

“Never gonna happen.” he snorted.

For a second, Hilly wondered if she should web him in the face first and then punch him in the crotch, or the other way around, but he chose for her when he took a step in her direction.

She punched him dead in the balls and literally jumped over him as he grabbed his genital organs and fell on his knees, screaming. Without losing any more time, she ran out of the room and hoped into the first air vent she found, thankful for the stupid spandex costume that made crawling around a lot easier. She went up the vent, joining the upper floors, and got out as soon as she saw a computer.

Plugging in her external hard drive, she transferred every files that seemed remotely helpful onto it, put it back inside her suit, right against her left thigh, and quickly crossed the room to reach the nearest window.

For a second, the view of New York spread at her feet took her breath away, then she remembered that a probably furious Human Torch was after her and she stopped losing time, took the first thing she found – a chair – and threw it at the window.

Fortunately, it was made of glass and cracked when the chair collided with it.

“You son of a bitch!” yelled someone from one hallway – and oh God, it wasn't the Human Torch, damn it – and Hilly didn't try to see for herself who it was. She grabbed the chair and threw it again, this time shattering the glass into a million pieces that went flying everywhere, and jumped out the window as soon as it was done.

She let her body free-fall for a few seconds, eyes closed and heart beating wildly, before finally shooting a web and swinging away, hoping that nobody would follow her.

 

 

***

 

 

She was awoken at seven in the morning sharp by Aunt May who ordered her to come downstairs and eat pancakes. The teenage thought of protesting – the hell with food, she needed _sleep_ – but a glance from her aunt persuaded her to roll out of her bed and drag her poor self to the kitchen where Peter, her twin, was already eating his breakfast.

He didn't meet her eyes and only vaguely nodded in her direction when she saluted him and sat in front of him but that really wasn't a surprise to anyone – even Aunt May had stopped trying to force them to talk to each other.

“What did you do last night? You look like you haven't slept in days.” said Aunt May, putting a plate full of pancakes in front of Hilly.

“Nothing, I was just reading.” she half lied.

The truth was that after coming back, she had started to browse through the stolen files that weren't password protected. Some of them had been really interesting – who knew there were so many parallel universes and alien species? – but most of them were completely impossible to understand for the girl. Peter was the scientist of the family, she was more a literature and art kind of person and despite her best efforts, she didn't know what most reports written by Reed Richards or Sue Storm were about.

She desperately needed Peter's help but he was still ignoring her.

“Are you sure you weren't outside? Cause I really don't want you to go out late, weird things always happen. I just saw in the news that just last night, someone broke into the Baxter Building, can you imagine? If people are not afraid of attacking superheros, I don't want to imagine what could happen to you.”

“Don't worry, I was really just reading in my bed.”

Aunt May seemed to believe her but Hilly caught Peter's glare when she turned back to her plate, a sign that he knew very well what she had done.

 

 

***

 

 

“The Baxter Building, seriously?!” hissed Peter furiously, grabbing her by the arm while they were in the bus on their way to school, almost an hour later.

“Yeah seriously,” she hissed back, shrugging him off, “I told you that I would do it but you just ignored me, like usual. What was I supposed to do, _huh_ ? Wait till you finally came to your senses?”

“Or maybe you could have just stopped acting so recklessly.”

“Oh so when _you_ do it, you're heroic but when it's me I'm _reckless_?”

“This has nothing to do with me!”

“It has _everything_ to do with you!” she almost screamed, receiving weird looks from everyone in the bus. “I do this for you okay ? Not just because I find it amusing.” she added in a quieter tone.

“I told you to stop. It's dangerous and I... I can't let you be hurt.”

He looked at her, eyes turning soft, a regretful expression on the face, and for a second Hilly really wanted to hug him.

“I won't be hurt if you help me Pete.”

“I can't do that. I'm done with Spiderman.”

“Pete, I'm not asking you to be Spiderman again, I just need answers and web.”

“Told you, I can't.”

Hilly sighed, but dropped it. She knew her twin – knew how much he loved Gwen and was still grieving – and understood why he wouldn't want to help her, but it was still infuriating and made her want to punch him in the face until he finally understood why she was doing this.

Instead she took his left hand between hers and lightly squeezed his fingers, offering him the only comfort he wouldn't deny.

 

 

***

 

 

Being a superhero sucked and pretending to be one was even worse.

The costume Hilly had stolen from Peter was a little too big, she had to wear a protective cup to pretend that she had a dick, had to bandage her boobs so they wouldn't be _too_ visible and her hair was getting in the way with the mask so she had to cut it to her chin – she didn't try a pixie-cut in fear of ending up with Peter's haircut. But this wasn't the worst. Even the fact that she barely slept certain nights and all the wounds weren't the worst.

The worst was the other superheroes.

Apparently Peter was famous in the superhero community and everyone and their mother could tell that something was off with Hilly – especially since Spiderman was coming back from a very long hiatus. Most of the time she ignored the weird looks or questions thrown at her but some people were just really hard to ignore for the simple reason that they never shut up – and by people she meant the Human Torch, Iron Man and Deadpool.

Iron Man was the only one in this trio that she actually liked. He was snarky and often said mean things but he seemed to feel the same way toward Human Torch and Deadpool as Hilly. The fact that he knew Peter's true identity was also a bonus and the first time he had asked about Peter's whereabouts, a proof that he knew she wasn't the original Spiderman, Hilly had known that she would like the man.

Deadpool on the other hand was just a pain in the ass, nothing more, nothing less. He harassed Hilly, stalked her for hours – when she could have been home instead of freezing in the middle of the night on some building while he was talking and talking and talking. He spent most of his time talking about his stupid life and asked her what had happened to her all those months and blah blah blah. She didn't listen most of the time and hide every time she saw him coming.

But that was nothing compared to the Human Torch.

Johnny freaking Storm was a nightmare. When he wasn't making fun of Hilly, he was insulting her and trying to get answers out of her with his three teammates. She really wanted to punch him in the balls a second time and the fact that she kept on running into him wasn't helping her relationship with the Fantastic Four.

She barely dodged the knife swung at her face, too lost in her thoughts.

“You're never going to get me!” shouted the guy she was trying to arrest, swinging once again the knife – and this time she managed to grab him by the wrist and twisted it until he let go of the weapon.

“Let's see about that.” she replied before webbing him in the face.

It had the effect she expected : the guy screamed and stopped trying to cut Hilly's face, concentrating on his own face now that he couldn't see anything – and probably had trouble breathing.

“Nice !” said someone behind her and she jumped, turning around so quickly that she saw stars for a second.

The Human Torch waved at her, a big stupid smile on the face.

“God ! Why do you keep on stalking me? What do you even _want_ from me?” she groaned.

“Oh come on Spidey! We're best-buddy and you know it, no matter what you tell yourself.”

Hilly rolled her eyes. There was still a screeching criminal next to her who was trying to get web off his face and she had other things to do than stay here all day with Johnny Storm.

Also she was kind of starting to run out of web and had no idea how to make it – there was no clue in what she had stolen from the Fantastic Four and Peter still wasn't talking to her.

“Look, I'm kind of having a bad day so can you please leave me alone?”

“You having a bad day is the reason I'm not gonna leave you alone!” he smiled.

She groaned, kicked the criminal in the head – she had learn that it was the most effective way to stop them – and turned once again to face Johnny.

“We're not best-buddies, stop talking to me please.”

He smirked, looking smug and like he knew something she didn't, and stepped closer.

So close in fact, that she could smell his cologne and count his eyelashes if she wanted. _What the actual fuck_?

“Honey, that's not what you said to me.” he breathed.

Shit. She seriously had no idea what he was talking about and what the _hell_ was happening.

“Actually, I'm pretty sure you said it several times.” he continued, leaning just a little bit over her.

She took three steps back, almost stepping on the unconscious criminal, and raised a hand.

“Back off Torch, I'm serious.”

It wiped the smirk off his face and he tried to take a step closer to her but she stepped back again – this time really stepping on an arm and maybe even a shoulder. Her reaction made him frown, but she couldn't care less.

“What is wrong with you?” asked Johnny after half a minute spent in awkward silence, both of them looking stonily at each other. “I mean, you disappear for _months_ , then someone dressed as you breaks into the Baxter Building, but you keep on saying that it wasn't you, and now you...” he gestured toward her, like that explained anything instead of making her even more confused than before, “you act like that...”

“Identity crisis.” spoke her mouth before she could even think of an answer. “This is what hormones do to you when you're a teenager.”

“Wait, you're _a teenager_?”

 _Oh fuck_ , thought Hilly.

“Look dude, we're not... whatever it is that you think we are. Something just came up in my life, so I had to take a break, but now I'm back in the superhero business, and I just wanna be left alone. So please, leave me alone. And also get this fucker to the police.” she said, gesturing to the criminal with her chin.

Johnny just stared, dumbfounded, as she turned around and ran away.

 

 

***

 

 

“How long?” Hilly asked Peter who had been staring at his tumblr's dashboard for fifteen minutes now without moving.

“How long what?”

“This thing Spidey has with The Human Torch, how long has it been going on?”

That got Peter's attention as he slowly spin his chair around to face her.

She was sitting cross-legged on his bed, eyebrows raised, still in the Spiderman costume but with the mask off. She still wasn't sure whether it was a good or really bad idea to ask him about that, but the way Johnny Storm had acted around her was way too weird for her curiosity.

“What are you talking about?”

“The guy flirted with me today. He even called me honey. And apparently you guys are BFFs too. That's fucking weird, to be hit on by a guy I don't even know but acts like he knows everything about me. Why didn't you tell me?”

“Cause there is nothing to tell you. We used to hang out, sometimes, but that's all.”

Rolling her eyes, she sighed.

“Whatever, I stopped a guy from robbing a jewelry today and it came to my attention that I could use some–”

“I won't help you get killed.” he cut her, abruptly turning back to his computer.

“I've already told you, I won't get killed if you help me. It's like we keep having the same conversation over and over again.”

“It's not my fault you keep on bringing this up. I don't want you to be Spiderman, but I know I can't stop you from doing what you want so just keep me out of it. And don't die.”

Hilly bit her lip, burning to tell him that this was all his fault and she wouldn't have been bitten by a freaking radioactive spider in the first place if it wasn't for him, but he had a lot in his plate, and so did she, so she just silently got up and left his bedroom instead of starting a fight with him.

 

 

***

 

 

Flash was sitting just behind her and was staring – she could feel his gaze burning her nape and it made her want to scream and crawl out of her body. They hadn't talk much since she had broken up with him, so many months ago – in fact it felt like a lifetime ago, back when her twin was just a regular nerd who was being bullied by her boyfriend of the time – and except from the hug they shared during Gwen's funeral, they hadn't even been close since their breakup.

The bell ringed, indicating the end of the class, and Hilly quickly got up, shoved all of her stuff into her bag and got out as fast as she could.

It wasn't fast enough though because just as she was turning around a corner to get to her locker, Flash passed her and turned around, forcing her to stop and face him.

“Hey.” he said, sounding tense and looking anxious. “What's up?”

Hilly shrugged. She hated that question and he knew it.

“How are you holding up?” he then asked, taking her by surprise.

“Fine... I guess.” she said, meeting his gaze, “I'm focusing on helping Peter get over it, it makes it easier for me to not think about it.”

“Yeah he seems... different. I... I actually wanted to talk to him... You know, let him know that if he ever wants to talk to someone, I'm here, but I don't know how to say that. So...”

“That's why you're here, to ask me.” she finished for him.

That made her smile, just a little bit.

Under all his douchebaggery he was one of the nicest guy she knew, and she still remembered how he had tried to talk to her for a month after Uncle Ben's death, staring at her, walking up to her and losing his courage just a second before she could open her mouth and talk to him. In the end, it was Peter he had comforted, and it spoke more to Hilly than anything else.

“If you want to talk to him, just do. Start with a “hey” like you did for me, he won't punch you in the face or anything. In fact, he's pretty out of it most of the time, so don't mind him if he seems lost in his own world.”

“I guess it was pretty hard for him, and I don't want to come up as aggressive.”

“You won't.”

He nodded, and for one second, it felt like old times and Hilly thought of leaning over him and kissing him.

The bell ringed.

It was time to get to class and pretend that everything was alright – that Gwen was still here, that Peter could still smile and sleep, that she could look at herself in a mirror.

She sent a tight smile to Flash and walked away, their shoulders brushing when she passed him.

 

 

***

 

 

 _It shouldn't be so hard_ , thought Hilly. She had the exact same powers as Peter. And Peter was good. So she could be good if she tried hard enough.

Except that she sucked.

In fact, she probably was the _worst_ superhero _ever_ and everyone knew.

“Having difficulties here?!” screamed the fucker she was trying to beat up as she was coughing and getting on all fours – standing up was a little early if the fact that everything was spinning very fast around her was any indication.

“Nope!” she said in her best Annoying-Peter voice, “Just getting started, I could do it all day to be honest.”

Fucker snickered and kicked her in the ribs, sending her flying toward another building that made a very weird sound when she met it – or maybe it was her bones, she had no idea at this point.

“That looked like it hurt a lot!” commented someone to her right.

 Maybe it was the left though, everything was a little blurry.

“Yeah, a tiny lil' bit.” replied Hilly, blood in her mouth that she couldn't spit out because of the stupid Spiderman mask.

After the whole Flash thing, Peter had glared at her the whole way home after school and Aunt May had screamed at her because she hadn't clean her room – and Hilly had thought that this was it. After that, her day couldn't depress her more.

Except that a Fucker in a stupid leotard who had been injected with super-steroids had thought that it'd be a great idea to rob a bank and kill a dozen people – and here was Hilly.

“Shit.” she muttered between clenched teeth before trying to get to her feet.

She had to grip the pieces of walls that had fallen off after her impact with it to keep her stability and pretended that she couldn't hear someone cackling to her left – it was definitely her left.

“Dude, you seriously used to be so much cooler !” shouted the cackling voice.

Flipping him off, or at least trying cause as soon as her left hand left her support she almost fell in this direction, she grabbed her mask and pushed it up to her nose long enough to spit the blood out of her mouth before pushing it back down.

“Okay, where were we?”

“I was kicking your ass!” said Fucker, smiling at her from the other side of the street.

“ _Right_... in your wildest dreams.”

“He kinda was tho.”

Hilly groaned – she seemed to be doing that a lot recently – and finally turned to face the third-party who was only here to make fun of her apparently.

“Fuck off Deadpool.” she said.

“Hey, I'm not the guy who threw you at a building!” he replied, raising his hands as a sign of his innocence, “You should be saying that to him!”

“You're not helping you know.”

“Maybe, but the view is nice, even if that dude over there _is_ kicking your fine ass. By the way, did you start squating? I don't remember your butt being so big last time I saw you!”

She tried to groan again but Fucker chose this moment to throw a car at her and she jumped down, scraping her elbows against the concrete and ending at Deadpool's feet who was towering over her, smiling with his hands on his hips. _God_ , she hated him _so much_.

“I knew you'd eventually throw yourself at my feet.” he announced, bending down to wrap an arm around her waist and push her up, flat against his chest. “You should've just told me, no need to make a scene like that.”

“Oh shut the fuck up!” she replied before grabbing the closest gun she could find on him and turning around to face Fucker, elbowing Deadpool on purpose while doing that.

That stopped the villain who was walking to her, and he raised an amused eyebrow, smirking.

“Are you going to shoot me? I know it's not Spiderman style, you don't scare me.”

“You're right, I can't aim for shit.” she said, webbing him in the face before throwing the gun at him with all her force, hoping that it would touch a sensible part of his body.

The gun hit him right in the crotch, making him scream loudly as he fell on his knees, one hand going for his balls and the other for his face. Maybe she _was_ lucky after all.

“Ooooh! That was so low!” cried out Deadpool behind her, both his arms around her now – and she had no idea when that had happened. “But congrats, even the mighty Deadpool never thought of this attack.”

She elbowed him again but that did not make him let go. In fact, he groped her butt and put his chin on her shoulder.

“Oh my god, this is sexual harassment! Let me _go_!!” she screamed, using all her superhuman force to push him away.

He fell on his ass, moaning, and Hilly took it as her chance to get the fuck away and to bed.

She stumbled to Fucker who was still trying to scream through the webbing on his face and kicked him in the head – it seemed that it was becoming her finisher move. She then tried to walk away – surely the cops weren't far – but a sudden surge of pain took her breath away and she doubled over, holding her rib-cage because it seriously felt like it was cut open in six different parts.

“Hey you okay?” called Deadpool.

“Nope.” she barely managed to say before passing out.

 

 

***

 

 

When Hilly woke up, her mask was still on her face and she was lying on something hard that smelled bad. Groaning, because she felt like a truck had ran her over, she used her arms to pick herself up and ended up sitting and blinking confusingly.

She had no idea where she was. It looked like a living room, except that the walls were completely bare, there was only a crappy sofa on one side, a tiny television on the other side, and between the two the smelly carpet she was sitting on. There were three doors, two in front and the other behind her.

Nothing else.

“Fuck...” she breathed when she tried to get to her feet and her ribs and skull reminded her why she had passed out.

“Hey! You're awake!” called a voice behind her, making her jump.

She must have been in pretty bad shape if she couldn't even tell when someone was coming.

“Where am I?”

Deadpool didn't answer – of course, why would he make her life easier after all? – and sat down on the ground in front of her, his smile big enough that she could see it through his mask.

“So, how was our first pajama party? In my honest opinion you were too passed out and there wasn't enough gossiping but we'll do better next time!”

“Oh my god... is it your apartment?”

“Yep!” he nodded, proudly.

“How long was I out?”

“The whole night I think? The sun is already up so...”

“Shit, shit shit!”

Almost jumping to her foot – and having Deadpool grabbing her arm to prevent her from falling on the ground – she continued to swear while grabbing her head – too bad she couldn't tear her hair out because of the mask, that would have helped her calm down.

“Come on don't tell me you need to go somewhere!” cried Deadpool, trying to wrap his arm around her shoulders but she kept on pushing him away.

“I have to go home... or the hospital maybe. Oh crap... I don't even remember what day it is.”

“If that makes you feel better neither do I.”

She groaned.

“I really fucking hate you, you know that?”

“Ow yeah, talk dirty to me Spidey.”

 

 

***

 

 

Hilly had to throw herself at a car once Deadpool was securely webbed to his couch so he wouldn't follow her and she had retrieved her regular clothes from a hideout. It was dangerous and probably mean for the poor driver, but it was the only thing she could think of that would explain her broken and cracked ribs – and least that's what the doctor who examined her said she had.

He gave her something for the pain and she left using the window while he was out of the examination room to grab the forms she was supposed to fill.

After a quick detour home to grab her schoolbag, Hilly was finally in class – and it was the last place she wanted to be at.

She had missed first period – _good_ , she hated math – and Peter was in her current class, French. He sent her a glare when she entered the class, panting and almost late, but didn't pay her anymore attention until the bell ringed and they left the class.

“Where the hell were you last night?! I had to cover for you this morning!”

“Sorry I passed out trying to save people.”

“What?”

That stopped him in his anger.

“Are you serious? You okay? What happened?”

“Yeah I'm good.” she swept a glance around them, making sure that no one was listening or watching, before pushing him into the boys bathroom and closing the door behind her.

She watched Peter making sure that no one was in a stall before he turned around to face her.

“There was a guy who robbed a bank and killed some people. He had like... I don't know, super-strength or something like that. He kicked me pretty hard and after stopping him I passed out.”

“Did someone find you? Did...”

“No.” she immediately replied, knowing what he wanted to ask. “No one unmasked me. In fact, Deadpool was here when it happened and I woke up in his shitty apartment.”

“Deadpool? Seriously? Are we talking about the guy who always try to touch my butt?”

“Yep, himself. He touched my butt, by the way. Several times. But he didn't unmask me, and when I asked him why before leaving, he said that it was in the superheroes bro-code. I think he wanna get into Spidey pants.”

Peter snorted, an amused smile on the lips, and Hilly got hit by the realization that it was his first real smile since Gwen's death. Damn, if she had known that Deadpool was the only thing she needed for him to finally express something other than anger, she'd brought him up earlier.

“Anyway, I found a way to get to a hospital in regular clothes to have something against the pain while I heal, and here I am.”

Peter sighed and sagged back against a wall.

“You're trying to give me a heart-attack, right? What do you even mean by finding a way to go to the hospital?”

Hilly shrugged.

“I kinda threw myself at a car. But it was nothing!” she immediately added when he paled, “Like I made sure that I wasn't going to die or anything... I just had to make sure that it looked like it could have cracked five of my ribs.”

“ _Five_?!”

“Yeah but I'm okay, I swear!”

“Have you even looked at a mirror today?”

She shook her head and Peter gestured to the dirty mirrors above the sinks.

Grimacing, cause she wasn't stupid (even if she had thrown herself at a moving vehicle to make up for the fact that she was a very bad Spiderman), and knew that considering how much the whole left side of her face hurt, it certainly looked very bad.

It was worse than very bad.

From her open temple to her cut chin, her skin was purple going black and it looked like someone had dragged her face down on the ground or used her head as a broom.

“Okay so I look terrible. I get it. But seriously, I'm okay, it looks worse than it feel.”

“Sure?”

Nope, but she still nodded and hugged him back when he took her in his arms.

 

 

***

 

 

A week later, Fucker had broken out of jail and was once again standing in front of Hilly, his stupid leotard still here. He was also laughing a lot, and if she was being honest with herself, Hilly understood his hilarity. After all he had kicked her ass pretty bad, her face was still slightly blue despite her super-healing and she was, as of two days before, completely out of web – not that he knew that fact. The web-shooters were still around her wrists because it gave her a faint feeling of badassness but they were totally useless.

And if she was being _very_ honest with herself, she was scared of Fucker and his fucking leotard and his fucking strength.

The alarm of the nearby bank he had robbed was still ringing and some screams could be heard, three or four streets away, but there was nothing to help her. All she had to defeat him was her body and her brain. And maybe a car if she had time to get to the car, lift it with her _bare hands_ and throw it at him.

She really regretted every choices she had made so far that had gotten her to this exact moment.

“So, for once you have nothing to say. It's pretty strange, because all the papers talk about are you and your sass.” said Fucker, slowly walking to her.

She had more or less five meters to find a way to stop him because she knew that if he got his hands on her, she was done. It was written in his eyes.

“Yeah, the leotard is leaving me speechless. Nice non-six pack by the way.”

A cruel smile found its way on his face as he kicked an abandoned bike, reducing it to pieces as it flew to the building behind Hilly.

 _You can do it_ , she thought. _For Peter_.

He threw a car at her, like the last time, and she saw it coming, managing to jump away and land on another car, away from him. It seemed to enrage him and he grabbed an electric pole, snapped it into two pieces and threw them at her like they were javelin.

One barely missed her and the other scratched her left thigh.

Hilly made the mistake of taking a second to look at her injury and, without even realizing what was happening, Fucker had thrown himself at her, was holding her by the neck, chocking her, and slammed her body against the hood of the car.

She saw starts the first time he did it, her brain vibrating because of the impact. She almost blacked out when he did it a second time and completely forgot her name and the reason she was even here in the first place when he did it a third time.

Raising a hand to try to punch him, she chocked on a groan when Fucker's fingers flexed against her throat and almost crushed her trachea.

He could probably decapitate her with just a hand, she grimly thought, black dots appearing in front of her eyes. And if she died like that, people would probably find out that it was her under that stupid mask. Would it be possible for Spiderman to make a comeback ? Or maybe Peter wouldn't be able to get out of bed again, like after Gwen's death. Gosh, she couldn't do it to her twin.

She tried to kick him in the crotch, but he laughed when her foot collided with a protective cup.

“You thought I wouldn't learn my lesson?” he asked.

“Ughhhaknfd!” she replied, feeling weirdly insulted. A kick in the balls was her sneak attack and if she couldn't even do it anymore, she was screwed.

“You're screwed.” murmured Fucker, as if he was reading in her mind, leaning against her. “You're dying, say your last goodbye.”

Opening her mouth, she tried to say something but only a strangled gargle came out as she rapidly blinked, the edge of her sight black and everything becoming blurry.

She couldn't see anything except Fucker's smirk.

“Sorry, I didn't understand what you just said.” he joked, tightening his grip on her throat, making her hiss in pain.

Parting her lips to reply – or beg, she'd do anything at that point to just _breath_ – she was surprised by two events happening almost at the exact same time that prevented her from making any sound.

Her brain registered the noise first, a deafening explosion, then it caught up with Fucker's exploding head and his brain raining down on Hilly.

The next second she was on the ground, Fucker's dead body on her, desperately trying to catch her breath, ears ringing and eyes shedding tears. She had no idea what had happened but Fucker's blood was soaking her, something that looked strangely like an eyeball was next to her shoulder on the ground and her lungs and throat were burning her.

She did the only thing her confused and shocked mind could think about : she shrieked.

Or at least she tried but only a weird croak escaped her mouth before she started sobbing, right there, in a puddle of blood and gore with a dead body crushing her.

Hysterically trying to push Fucker away, to no avail, she barely registered that someone was talking to her through the ringing in her ears and it was only when gloved hands grabbed the dead body and pushed it away before gently touching her cheek that she opened her eyes and realized that Deadpool was here, kneeling next to her in the blood and looking concerned though his mask.

Deadpool who had shot Fucker in the head to save her.

She sobbed harder and wrapped her arms around his shoulders when he bent down and took her in his arms.

“Shh, it's okay.” he said in a soft and gentle tone before getting up and turning around to walk away, carrying her like she weighted nothing.

They walked past a bunch of cops and civilians who all cleared path when they saw them coming and Hilly closed her eyes and bit her lips, trying to stop her sobs to breath a little – cause _she had almost died suffocated_.

Hiding her face against Deadpool's shoulder, she closed her eyes and tried to just breath.

 

 

***

 

 

Hilly only opened her eyes when she was gently set down in a bathtub. She let Deadpool go and watched him leave the room before she rested her head on the edge of the tub, closing her eyes again.

She heard him come back but didn't move, even when he turned the water on and soaked her once it was warm.

“Hey Spidey, you okay? I can undress you if you want but I'm pretty sure you'd rather not.”

Groaning, Hilly gripped the bathtub with one hand and Deadpool's extended hand with the other to get to her feet. She wobbled for a second, Deadpool looking like he was ready to catch her if she was to fall, and once she was sure that she wouldn't end up on her ass she gently pushed him away and waited for him to leave the bathroom and close the door behind him, after a very long look.

She took the mask off first and let it fall into the tub next to her feet then, staring with empty eyes at the tiled wall in front of her, she peeled the costume off, throwing it in the tub too.

And there she stood under the warm water, in her purple panties with her fake bulge and her bandaged boobs. With blood under her nails and on her skin despite the fact that she was covered from head to toe when Fucker died.

In Deadpool's bathroom.

What a life.

She started laughing without even realizing it, having to lean on the wall not to fall over as tears started to stream down her cheeks.

 

 

***

 

 

It took her half an hour to get all the blood off her hair and twenty minutes to hand-wash her costume and once she was done, she stood in front of the sink and stared at her reflection in the broken mirror, not knowing what to do. She couldn't walk out of the bathroom in just a towel and putting the wet costume on wasn't something she wanted to do.

Sighing, she grabbed the mask and put it on before slightly opening the bathroom door, just enough so her face could be seen but not the rest.

“Hum, do you happen to have something I can wear ?” she called.

“Yep yep yep!”

He almost ran to the door, a big smile under his mask and holding a small pile of clothes.

“Take whatever you like Spidey!”

Hilly thanked him and grabbed the clothes before rapidly closing the door – she didn't want him to take a peak.

There was a Deadpool mask on the top of the pile and she smiled as she took hers off and put this one on after toweling her hair. She then slipped into a pair of gray sweatpants, a black t-shirt and a red hoodie. Everything was too big for her but she didn't have a choice and, after putting her wet boots on, she got out of the bathroom.

Deadpool was sitting on his couch, the TV was on, but he was staring at her when she got out.

“Feeling better?”

She nodded, awkwardly standing there.

“They're talking about us on TV.” he said, probably feeling her embarrassment, pointing to the screen with his chin.

There was a shaky footage taken from a building near the bank that showed on loop Hilly getting slammed into the car then Deadpool coming, pushing Fucker's body and carrying her away.

The medias had to cut the part where Fucker's brain was all over her face, and she was glad that she didn't have to see it a second time. She was probably going to have nightmares about it her whole life, it was no use to rub salt in the wound.

“Thanks.”

Deadpool smiled and stopped watching the television to glance at her.

“For what? Saving your life? Come on, you know I like you! I can't let some guy kill you like that! And I got to carry you bride-style in the sunset. Really, _I_ should be thanking you.”

She huffed a laugh and stepped closer to the couch.

“Still, thank you for not letting me die. I really saw the light at the end of the tunnel for a second.”

“You're welcome.”

They spent the next minute without saying anything, just looking at the other, something weird Hilly couldn't define passing between them.

“Wanna sit?” finally asked Deadpool, patting the space next to him on the couch.

She shook her head.

“Can't. I have to go home...”

“Your wife waiting for you or something?”

“More like my dragon” she scoffed.

“That bad?!”

He seemed amused and it eased a little Hilly's tension, even if she still hadn't stop from shaking.

“Yeah, I'm gonna be screamed at very badly.”

“See you later then.”

“Yeah, later...”

She went to the bathroom to take her still humid costume and left the apartment with one last nod to Deadpool.

 

 

***

 

 

Peter tried to hug her when she entered her room but she didn't let him, throwing the useless web-shooters at him instead.

“Hilly–”

“They're _empty_.” she cut him. “You don't want me to die, fine, but give me something that'd help me stay alive then! If it wasn't for Deadpool I'd be dead now!”

His lips shuddered but she ignored his heartbroken expression, throwing the Deadpool mask on her bed before taking the hoodie off and doing the same with it.

“What–”

“Those are Deadpool's clothes. Cause I had brains and blood all over me after he shoot a guy in the head to save me.”

“I'm sorry Hilly.”

“Yeah, I know damn well that you are sorry, and it makes me so fucking angry! Cause you know the only thing I could think about while I was being chocked to death? That if I died it would destroy you. I didn't even care about myself, I didn't even care about dying to be honest, I care about _your mental health_.”

Out of breath, she sent him a long look before turning around to open her wardrobe and take a pair of pajamas out. She just wanted to sleep and forget about that day.

“You know that's not what I wanted.” he muttered.

“It's not what I wanted either, but here we are. Can you get out please, I'd like to change and sleep.”

He nodded pathetically, she knew that without even having to look at him, and left her room.

Sighing, Hilly took a second to feel overwhelmed by everything before putting her walls back up and forcing herself to move and not think. Putting the pajamas on, she flopped on her bed, threw the sheets and cover on her and closed her eyes, pretending that she could still sleep after a day like that.


End file.
